We entered this company definition (their designation redacted to protect the innocent). Like many corporate definitions, it isn’t focused on the customer.
“At [redacted], our power to engineer solutions is the result of combining local expertise with a global team of the best that the industry has to offer. Our employees run the full gamut of processing technology and experience. Their expertise covers: [redacted], process control, and life-cycle management. We have built a team that can deliver the entire spectrum of services that the [redacted] industry can offer.”
We then asked ChatGPT to rewrite it, emphasizing the customer benefit, but in the same voice:
This attempt was too long and still more from the company’s perspective than the customer’s. So I asked it to rewrite it again with instructions to make it shorter and more compelling for a buyer. Interestingly, it took far longer to generate this copy, which is what it’s like to write shorter copy IRL:
This time, ChatGPT acted as a good tool for knowing what not to write. It performed as asked and improved the copy. But the algorithm selected the most used phrases to technically answer my query. This collection of jargon lacks creativity and emotional appeal. The resulting copy is so overused and generic, it reads as meaningless noise, providing no differentiated reasons to work with them.